So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
