that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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