I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I did not marry a roomba.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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