Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
