oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
