i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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