hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
