she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
