Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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