Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
