i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
