just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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