i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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