btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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