oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
