You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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