Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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