Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you didnt know i had herpes?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
BRING THE BAGELS
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
