Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
