so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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