Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
