your room smells of hookers.
And success
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
