The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
