im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
