Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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