I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
