I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
