I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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