Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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