I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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