Non-Jews are for practice
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
