Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
