Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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