Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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