I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You are the jesus of drinking
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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