There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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