either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
