My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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