i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
