we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
