Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I enjoy the company of your penis
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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