BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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