: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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