y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
