And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
