Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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