i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
