guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
