Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
