I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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