Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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