I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
