I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
No subtext here. People are naked.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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